By Jake Grogan
Reading meters; no doubt the thought of that sounds very tedious, very dull, or like a downright pain, and in fairness – you’re not wrong. It is though, very important.
It’s important for all the obvious reasons, Glide, like all other energy companies need to keep track of how much energy you’re using, so that we know how much to bill you (or how much to refund you!) It’s also important for tenants, as the last thing you want is a big estimated bill because you haven’t managed to send us some numbers from a screen.
But the most important reason of all, is that if you regularly send us readings, you won’t run the risk of having to endure some of the hilarious, awkward or downright horrendous moments I’ve encountered on my travels all over the country visiting student houses and taking reads.
My name’s Jake, and if you live in a student property which is provided with energy by Glide, there’s a good chance you may have seen me in your town, in your home, or you may even have been one of the lucky few who have inadvertently walked in on me in your bedroom!
I’m here to share with you a few stories of my experiences of student houses, and hopefully put you off meeting me enough so that you remember to send us some readings.
Image: bettaliving.co.uk
We all know that the majority of student houses, once you’ve settled in and made them your own, can be a little bit messy, a tad bit untidy, and potentially even a general hazard to one’s everyday health and well-being.
But that’s understandable, for most of you, it’s your first time living away from home, and you’re enjoying the freedom of not having your parents tell you to pick up your pizza boxes, your empty bottles of vodka, or your dirty pants.But, if you do get an email from us or your landlord telling you that someone will be coming into your property, it might be a good idea to move those unwashed, slightly questionable skivvies from two weeks ago to somewhere out of sight.
Image: buzzfeed.com
Heading into thousands and thousands of homes, basements and bedrooms, I’ve met some big scary dogs, some bigger scarier spiders, and some absolutely terrifying hungover zombie-like students. But there’s not a lot scarier than seeing our customers in various states of undress answering the door. So again, if you know someone’s coming round (or even if you don’t – you just hear a knock) – please try to dress in something appropriate, and not just boxers, very small pyjamas, or even nothing at all, as one gentleman did.
A lot of the time, your landlord or your letting agent will give me the key to your property, and forewarn you that I’ll be coming over and letting myself in if you’re not home. We understand the life of a student is busy, and you may not have time to sit in the house and wait around for me all day.
Image: idiva.com
However, if the meters for your property are located in your bedroom, please don’t leave anything lying around you might not want a stranger to see. For example, the girl’s bedroom in a city I won’t name, where the meter was located in a ground-level cupboard, within 6 inches of an open drawer full to the brim with various items and liquids that would be more at home on the Ann Summers website than that of Glide. Needless to say I took the reading and ran for my life in fear of being caught right next to someone’s personal collection.
Image: buzzfeed.com
The worst though, by far, would be the times I have accidentally walked into people’s bedrooms, with them inside. I will always knock your front door at least twice (loudly) before letting myself in, I’ll always shout ‘hello’ when I enter, and if I need to enter your bedroom, I’ll always knock at least twice again and only enter if I’m positive no one is in. This, unfortunately, is not a fool proof method, and has led to me walking in on people asleep and waking them up, walking in on two girls having a Netflix and ice cream binge, on someone acting shifty with a strong smell of something suspicious in the room, and on one occasion in another university city I’ll refrain from naming, on a couple in bed together doing none of the above.
Image: theguardian.com
It goes without saying, these experiences were not exactly pleasant for anyone involved (except for possibly the last couple) – and were very awkward situations I’m sure they’d have liked to avoid, I know I would have!
So again, if you know someone is coming round to your house, please please please try and keep things family friendly! If you wouldn’t want your mother seeing them, then I wouldn’t want to either! I don’t mind you asking me if I’d like a cup of tea (I take milk and two sugars, just FYI). I also don’t mind the lad who challenged me to a game of FIFA (which I won) and the group of lads that invited me to sit with them and watch the second half of a Brazil game during the world cup last summer.
Hopefully by sharing some of my experiences with you, I will encourage a few more of you to send us meter readings, if not to make sure you’re billed accurately, then maybe at least just to avoid actually having to meet me!